MELANCHOLY SPELL

WORDY1

Another day dawns,
but our life still yawns.
The sadness still alive,
with every thought taking a dive!
The complications seem simple,
turning our life into ripples.
Blaming ..yes it helps
soothing away our soul,the inside victim yells!

People around change,
darkening the inner cage,
set free in a dark forest
everyday turns out to be a big test.
Failures deter us,
life becomes a fuss,
life seems to be taking revenge,
a big war to avenge!
Lost in tatters we cry, 
feelings suffer a fry.
Fakeness shows,
seed of hollowness it sows!
Frustrated the world appears a maze,
every moment seems a never ending phase!
Who knows this would stop,
and our feelings would take that hop!
The chopping knives kill me,
irritation comes even from a buzzing bee!
They say life is a mystery solve it,
but it just eats away bit by bit.
Caught in situations we cant justify,
only the breath can be heard full of sighs!
Our very essence changes,
the world just gazes!
Trying to run,escape
but the fears do always gape.
Hope just hope is left,
expectations the theft!
Longing for a big hug,
one who accepts us with our guilt filled jug.
Searching in vain for acceptance,
left only is repentance!
We all our alone..yes its true,
even though the world promises to be our crew!
Fighting alone with our own being,
need someone to do our seiving.
The monotony still continues,
turning into mist life’s hue ūüė¶

WORDY3

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AUTOMATED RESPONSES

My phone beeped as I got another memory full reminder. Searching through the file manager I searched for videos and photos that I could delete. Some of the media I hadn’t even seen. As I clicked onto one of the videos it gave me an option panel so as to select the software¬†required to run it. After I made the selection another panel appeared which asked whether I always wanted to play such files with the selected software or just this time.
I selected the “always” option as I didn’t want to be bothered again by such a selection. ¬†I continued my ordeal of¬†viewing and deleting the waste and keeping the useful. In the process I stumbled upon a video which didn’t play in the player I had earlier¬†selected. I didn’t know how to change it because the options no more appeared ( a consequence of my “always” choice ) . I felt helpless and regretted the automatic choice I had taken. Not wasting more of¬† my time in filtering my phone I smashed it on the sofa and left the place.
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I headed towards the kitchen , the¬† string of thoughts still continuing in my mind and unmindful of what to do next with my life , opened the refrigerator door and stared. I didn’t know for what I had done it, maybe to look for something to eat¬†¬†or pass my time or what!¬†I just stood there and STARED. I closed it and searched for the TV remote-my next solace. But in that too I just kept flipping the channels nowhere to stop and judge what I wanted to see or do. Two minutes later I was standing in front of the¬†refrigerator door and staring again at the contents inside. I suddenly realized that this was the second time I had opened it without any clear thought or motive. I mean I didn’t even THINK before¬†getting up and¬†landing at the same place for the second time.¬†WAIT! How can I do something without thinking? And strange it was that¬†I felt that almost 90% of the actions I perform everyday are without apparent thinking! I mean most of the time I don’t even think about the task that I do. Right from the route¬†I follow¬†to reach my college to the breakfast¬†I order in the college canteen , everything is automated!¬†I don’t think and guide myself in doing¬†many things, all just happens!¬†My mind and body are rarely together. Most of me is automated. My actions no longer seek my permission or ask me the way to do things. And that is what later becomes my habit!. Right HABIT!
What is basically a habit? It is automated way of working. Whenever we have to do something our mind works in three steps.
1. THOUGHT
2. DECISION
3. ACTION
First a thought sprouts  about a particular task. This thought is then CONSIDERED by the mind and a judgment  is made whether the thought has to be followed or not. After the mind gives its decision our body is directed towards the action.
Take for example you are in an exam and you have a really difficult and important exam paper in front of you. You desperately feel the desire to cheat a particular answer but the problem is that you have never cheated in an exam before. So you happen to fall in a dilemma where you have to choose either your career or your values.
So in this instance the THOUGHT is “Should I cheat?” and this thought is given to the mind for judgment. The mind decides and makes a decision¬†.¬† Say the decision is in favor of cheating and a justification follows justifying the decision the mind takes. So the decision goes “Its okay to cheat. I am doing it for the first time because its my need otherwise my future may get destroyed”. And the action taken is cheating!
Now the second time you are sitting for an exam and in a similar situation the time you take for the decision making is comparatively less as you have earlier faced a similar situation. So the second time also the mind approves the task of cheating but with a comparatively lesser thinking .
But by the fifth time you are faced with the same situation you skip the second step and directly commit the action of cheating as you have justified yourself many times before! Whenever you are placed in a situation similar to this you just think of cheating and act directly without taking the decision or judging your thought.
This process in which we skip the judgment part and directly act on the basis of previous experiences it is called a habit. HABITS are an embodiment of the automated way of working!
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As far as the daily chores are concerned these habits don’t really matter but when it comes to our behavior these play a major role. If someone tells me you are short tempered I mostly retort by saying that this¬†is my way of working and I wont CHANGE. Its my habit.
And strange enough we all have our belief systems rigid enough to tell us that habits don’t change!
But we just realized that habits are nothing but actions which skipped the decision making part. So changing a habit means realizing the second step again!
But the real problem is that we make the habit OURS. We associate the habit with our personality. What we don’t realize is that it is something that I have ACQUIRED and not something that I always had. I consciously CHOSE a way of doing things and I still possess the power to ALTER¬†it.
If I am addicted to smoking doesn’t mean I should start calling myself a SMOKER, because the moment you do so you start owning the habit more and gradually you start skipping the first step as well and you don’t even think before you take out a cigarette and start smoking it. The thought part also skips. What you are left with is action.
What we need to realize is that before I start owning the habit or sticking it to me I need to JUDGE! I need to pay attention to the second step again and make a decision that whether I need to continue with it or not. If I have the habit of crying at every small disaster that hits me doesn’t imply I have to call myself emotional. Its a habit and it is different from me. Just like the dress you wear is different and separate from your body and can be changed whenever you are willing to do so, similarly habits are different from me and there is no need to identify with them. You can change them when you will to.
There should be times when we should come out of our automated system and assess ourselves and our habits otherwise the ALWAYS feature may act as a trouble for us. So before approving your thoughts and taking decision, think carefully because these become habits and a way of thinking and changing them requires an extra effort plus extra time. Stop every morning to analyze the words that you use for yourselves and change them these in any way harm your personality. Not only this pay close attention to the thoughts you approve everyday as these become your lifetime labels.
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The pencil writes leaving an impression,
  presenting to me a lifetime suggestion,
 the past reveals itself in the future pages,
leaving a mark for ages!
yes my decision today,
will take its say,
And shine above my intellect,
my knowledge and my every fact!
I am not a servant whom habits can dictate,
I am their master designing my fate!
 Appearances are deceptive- yes its true,
depend on your yourself as there is no crew!
CHANGE what shows to the world,
A victorious flag higher in its position hurled!
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MIND MATTERS

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Vacations over and now it is time to be busy! Yes, college starts again and a new chapter awaits me. Recollecting my previous year, I know it is going to be really difficult managing my way through the things. Lectures, friends, college formalities, rushing from one place to another and stuff would now become the objectives of my day!. A mere five to six extra chores would be sufficient enough to exhaust me physically!
I pondered again ,  PHYSICALLY!
I wondered about my mind. Is my mind ever tired? And even if it is, how do I relax it? SLEEP maybe! But no, I have these unending dreams and I know my mind is responsible for it. So when does my mind actually rest? The answer is really strange – NEVER!
Searching through the net, I discovered that we create about thirty to forty thousand thoughts on a normal day! The mind is always thinking, something or the other. It is always busy and strange it is, that it never rests, never relaxes! This is maybe because the mind’s function is to think, create thoughts –¬†just like the river – it always flows! . Mind is another name for a reservoir of thoughts seeking fulfillment in something other than itself. If I try to obstruct the path of flowing water with my hand it will find ways to pass. If¬†I put a stronger obstruction a pressure starts building up¬†and as soon as the obstruction is removed the flow begins again but¬†with a HIGHER pressure
and INTENSITY. In a way I cannot control the flow!  Even if I trap some water in an area, the stagnant water starts rotting.Algae and stuff start polluting it. Stagnancy destroys its essence.
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Similar is the case with our mind. Controlling thoughts, reaching the stage of complete silence is something not suitable and healthy for my mind, because the mind’s job¬†is to think. I cannot in any way reach the stage of zero thoughts. I cannot deprive my mind of the function it performs. But then again can I just allow my mind to flow and let it keep working its entire life?
We know even the best of the machines need lubrication and some rest to let off the heat they produce.
So what does my mind need to get lubricated and become fresh again. Sleep – yes I can say, as it definitely SLOWS DOWN my mind . But not most of us get the sleep that actually relaxes¬† the mind , to be typical we don’t take that DELTA SLEEP in which our mind actually relaxes. There is the domination of dreams and often disturbed sleeping patterns. In reality we often get up in the morning feeling very tired and exhausted. This is because the mind couldn’t relax even though the body did.¬†So what else would help my mind?
MEDITATION is another solution. But what do we actually mean by MEDITATION? There are a number of theories relating to it.
Some say silence your mind, stop your thoughts¬†and become thoughtless¬†but I believe, even in such a process we are still creating this thought which says ” DON’T THINK”.¬†This “DON’T THINK” is itself a thought which prevents us from reaching the complete silence stage instead it sometimes makes the head feel heavy. Obviously any kind of restriction is sure to create some pressure.
So switching to another theory, there are things like concentrate on your breath. Now what actually happens when you concentrate on your breath? It is actually a successful way in which you fool your mind to concentrate on something else rather than the monotonous string of thoughts, thereby acting as a replacement of the unending WASTE thoughts going in your mind. It slows down our mind surely! But even when we practice this, our mind isn’t able to completely concentrate on the breath. It often switches to its thinking habit. But yes practicing everyday surely would help. Concentration takes time to build up and we need to devote some time to it.
But then another thing stings me. Why is it so difficult to come out of our thinking ways? Why does our mind slip so easily? Why do we need to PRACTICE HARD to make our mind rest?
Maybe because the thoughts that we think are really interesting and engrossing? Or maybe we are very much used to it! It has become a STICKY habit.
So there is one other solution that presents itself! Do something MORE INTERESTING than your endless list of waste thoughts. Think of this, you are babysitting a child. He gets hold of a matchbox or a lighter and refuses to give it to you. You try and explain him that its not safe but the child loves it more than your lectures! so what do you do? You simply give the child a toy which attracts him more. Unaware he drops off the lighter and starts playing with the toy! RIGHT? This actually happens!
So what is the solution that we found? It is REPLACEMENT. Our mind is also like a child. Give it something else to think about and make sure this something else refreshes your mind and drives away its fatigue. The best replacement is POSITIVE AFFIRMATIONS. Give your mind some really good affirmations as you get up in the morning and just before you sleep. Thoughts like “I AM THE HAPPIEST BEING”, “EVERYBODY LOVES ME” , “MY LIFE IS THE BEST” are thoughts which will actually relax you. It is scientifically proved that the speed of positive thoughts is much slower than negative ones. So when you start thinking positive the mind slows down and reaches the stage of relaxation. Positivity relaxes the mind and provides it the rest that the mind needs. For me this is the definition of MEDITATION , replacing my vicious cycle of thoughts with slower positive ones!

Concluding with a soothing poem,
The Mind plays its games again,
making me wonder if it is a boon or a bane?
Endless thoughts rush rapidly,
Relaxation taking a flee!
I Carry a burden everyday,
Stress having its say!
This now becomes a part of me,
Positivity its key!
A jammed lock  opens up,
Filling freshness in my cup!
A new aura touches my life,
sending into trash the deep knives!
Lighter again I fly higher,
providing me a soothing bower!

DE-ATTACH YOURSELF

download (3) As I pulled hard the stapled pin, trying to detach it from the bunch of papers, ¬†the pin came out tearing the edge of sheets. Grumbling curses at the untidy way I had handled the papers, I took hold of the next set. Taking great care and trying to avoid the same mistake again , this time I pulled the pin very gently. The pin came out smoothly, but still left the papers with its marks. I did it in the most gentle way yet I could not undo the minimal damage the pin had done. ¬†I rearranged the jumbled set and stapled them again, thus imprinting a new mark on them and in a way damaging the paper’s original presentation. Anyhow I finished my work and relaxed back in my bed. I felt a sudden urge to go out in the open and take a walk. But then I thought about my mother whose call was to come anytime and I feared the amount of worry she had for me. If she came to know that I had gone on a stroll at this hour of the day, her tensions might just flood up more. So I put aside the idea and tried to bounce back to sleep again. But a thought kept disturbing me. I recalled the stapler incident and tried connecting it to my mother’s worry effect on me. Just like the stapler’s attachment to the paper had damaged the paper, similarly my mother’s attachment to me had left a mark on my life. I feared doing things that might worry her. Fear and worry came out as results of our attachment to each other. I wondered at the number of souls to whom I am attached and what all results has my attachment ¬†fetched the relation? To my surprise a huge array of negative emotions were linked to this attachment of mine. Take it expectations, worry, fear , anger, distrust all were a by product of the strings I had attached to people. Attachment had left me more emotional than practical. And it wasn’t just people but also things, religions, belief systems and what not. Now take for instance, why are the Hindu Muslim groups fighting? Answer is attachment – ATTACHMENT TO RELIGION. We don’t even logically judge the situation, we just behave in a way that justifies our attachment. We take literally no time in binding strings to things, people, situations. What happens when we fight with a loved one? Attachment works again. We take the words spoken by the person so close to our hearts that it becomes impossible for us to forgive them. Reason is we are attached! Now you tell your story to an outsider that this is the issue that bothers us, they will have an immediate solution at hand. Why?? Because they aren’t attached. Why couldn’t we, think of a solution? Because we were so overwhelmed by the fight and the person in it. Attachment isn’t good , it is in all its forms – selfish. We cry for our a loved one who dies, not because they are not here anymore but because I fear how MY LIFE would be without them. How will I survive without them. It’s ME. I fear a breaking relation not because how the other person would feel but because how would I feel?, how would I do things without them! A criminal’s mother keeps defending her child even when she knows the truth, Why?? Answer remains the same – Attachment. We need to realise the urgency of being detached from things, people and situations. Detachment doesn’t imply rigidness or being ¬†cold. Not at all. Detachment means analysing things the way they are after getting rid of ropes and strings. For instance a son has to go to a foreign country to complete his education. But his mother is not ready to take the step just because she is too much attached and cannot let her child go. And in a way she deprives her child of an opportunity that he could have availed. Maybe the entire life he keeps blaming his mother for the experience he missed. Instead if the mother had behaved logically and sent the child happily, the son’s future might have been a different one. images (5) We need to realise that we need to give people their space. We shouldn’t burden them or drop our responsibility on them making them the guides of our life. A healthy relation is one where you care for the other not where you impose yourself on the other. If a loved one is in pain due to an emotional issue , my responsibility goes in understanding their situation and giving them the power to come out of it and not in crying in their pain. If they are hurt, I have to cure them and not carry the hurt myself. We need to heal people and things around us and not damage or imprint them ¬†with our issues and worries. ” Charity begins at home” they say! And true it is. We need to first love ourselves, make ourselves happy and then only we can care for the whole world! An UNCHARGED battery cannot by any means charge another. We need to first charge ourselves and then with a DETACHED VISION help others. Because attachment isn’t a positive emotion! Don’t mix it with care. Love has to be unconditional and if its conditional it has attachment involved. Let go of this attachment and a new perspective ¬†would ¬†definitely await us!

The strings slowed my pace,

Making it a difficult chase!

I sat reflecting as I hurt myself,

Reduced to a wimpy elf!

The strings no more took us together,

Hurt came even from a feather.

Bruises now covered my skin,

No where could I see my win!

Removing the chains I took some steps,

Clearing away my unending debts!

Freedom Again kissed my soul,

Offering me a decorated bowl!

Happy smiles gathered along,

Refreshing as a new song!!‚ėļ

Author : Mridul Bedi

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EMBRACING PEOPLE

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How many of you think that you adjust alot with people?? Or like really put up an effort to keep the relation alive? How often do we say things like “I am tired of compromising” , “when will you change?”, “why can’t you be understanding?” , “when will you start acting responsible?” And I can go on! Our complaint box seems to be overflowing sometimes. These relationships are a real headache. But I ponder often upon the irony of relationships. I mean these are meant to make us happy, see the good in life but lately these have been more of a burden than stress busters and relievers! Really tired of the havoc these have created in my life I paused again and analysed. Most of the time the thing that made me unhappy was the way the other person behaved or a habit she/he had. I mean the problem is with THEM not me! But then again I have read quotes like ” people never change ” and similar stuff. I suddenly realised that it has always been like this. No amount of bickering or complaining changes anyone. And the more you tell others how “not so good” they are, the more irritating they become. In a way maybe it is right also! Who likes to be rejected? If someone comes and tells me a hundred reasons why I am not good, I would just be hating that person. Similar to that, when we reject someone it gives them no reason to change for us. Why should they? If I cannot appreciate anything good in them, then why do they need to put up an effort to change? Just so that I can accept them?? Isn’t this so funny?? We are so busy rejecting people that we don’t even realise that we are giving every reason for the relationship to not workout. But yes if I go out of the league and instead of rejecting I start accepting them, maybe they will find a reason to work upon themselves.
So first thing, ACCEPTANCE , deep understanding and seeing their point of view may help, because everyone is right according to their own perspective. Even a criminal has a justification for what he does.
Secondly, we know we have to interact with the same set of people for a long time. We have only two options at our disposal, either I don’t accept them and keep crying about the situation and one day just give up, or I accept them entirely and leave room for some improvement! And even in the second case if they don’t change I wouldn’t be bothered because I already accepted them!
Third thing, what is the use if the other person changes? They we will one day just walk off our life, what will there changing do to us? We only became all the more dependent on people changing for my happiness and that won’t happen every time!
So what I realised was that there are hundreds of people who are rejecting hundreds of others, but somewhere what we all need is people who accept! Let’s start the thing with us. There maybe many who are waiting for my acceptance. Let’s accept every person that we meet and leave behind things like judgement, criticism and gossiping. There is a lot to learn from people around us. Let’s learn the good and let go off the bad! ACCEPTANCE has a lot of positive attached with it. When we send the person next to us an energy of acceptance we send them this gift of positivity. The law of karma will bring this back to us. So for the future good lets today pledge to start the cycle of good wishes and acceptance. ‚ėļ

I smiled at him despite his mistake,
Ignored the past full of fake,
He smiled again and turned his life,
Cutting the bad with a powerful knife!
A changed being now awaits me,
Beyond imperfections I can see.
The smile was powerful indeed,
Washing away the selfish greed!
Happier are the smiles which now we share,
Sprinkled with a sparkling flair.

The touch worked its magic again,
Washing away a lifetime bane!
I am happy that I smiled that day,
And left room for the chance that lay!!

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INSTANT HAPPINESS

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This is the time of instant success, instant cooking, instant love and so on..thereby creating a need for instant happiness. HAA seriously?? ūüėÄ ..I mean like literally? …when you are in the midst of crisis…I mean right at the centre of it …how can I even afford a smile?? I have no right over it !! …seriously??..think again..which soul in the world is holding your cheek resisting you from giving even a fake smile ?? ..who has the power?? WHO???…the answer is no one. We need to realise that even in an adverse situation like take for example “being on a gun point” …now that is something real forceful….you have the CHOICE to die or do something that the other demands…you consciously CHOOSE to fulfill their demand …there,You CHOOSE …recogonise this …once again I say you possess this power of CHOICE !! Simple..not so difficult..but the question again arises why then does the SITUATION,PERSON,DISASTER dominate over me. Just try and see where does their control lie?.. my answer would be on my physical thing !! Yeah thats the end of it…all of these namely people,situation and disaster excercise control only till the physical and after that IT IS ME WHO ALLOWS THEM TO CONTROL. Our lives today I would say are ruined just because i am ready to be a REMOTE CONTROL. THERE!!! this is the problem . I am a remote control. And may I ask why?Maybe because we are used to it..and why are we used to it? maybe because we have never pondered over the ultimate power that our mind possesses…and what power am I talking about? It is the power to CHANGE! To let go off my regular way of living and thinking …and creating a thought that is different from the regular ….that possesses the power to heal me…I need a conscient thought …that YES I will not let the crisis dominate over me. DO NOT LET ANYTHING PHYSICAL OUTSIDE control the emotional you. YOUR MIND should go by YOUR INDEPENDENT THOUGHTS.

Just a simple fact …”I have more power than the other can pretend to show!! ”

So right in the middle of crisis … just STOP and take the control in your hands …create your ORIGINAL thoughts…free of that crisis…and the result?? INSTANT HAPPINESS ūüôā

Before I wind up I would like to present some self composed lines:

In moments of despair,

don’t hesitate to share,

the happiness awaits your arrival,

a moment when you let go of the trivial!

choice again lying in your hands,

free of all bonding bands,

transfer the power back to you,

and articulate a colorful hue!!

Author: Mridul Bedi Continue reading

TINTED VIEWS

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Unmindful of my thoughts I mustered into my old room. It had been long since someone had visited it. Smelling of dust and disguising itself under the nets of spooky spiders, the room presented to be a total mess. Crumbled old things awaited me in a corner. As I sat sorting the things I discovered some of my childhood items. What grabbed my attention was a pair of sunglasses. I remembered the crazy childhood times when sunglasses ¬†were a treat to me. Different shades lay there as I began trying them on my overgrown face now. Blue, black, yellow, …..I had all of them. Wearing them one by one I saw the way my view changed. Yellow showed me yellow, blue showed me blue and and my favourite black showed everything dark.

A thought conjured upon me the very next moment. These shades changed the way I saw things, coloring them in their own shade. The real color , the real essence became tinted. A thing crossed my mind. Something similar occurs in our real life as well. Maybe the way we talk to people, or the way we  see our situations, or the way we see ourselves and our life, everything maybe tinted!!!

But the next question…tinted by what???

Maybe our belief systems, our opinions, our experiences, our way of judging all act as the shades through which we view life. I mean take a simple situation, you meet a person the very first time, what happens in our mind. Don’t our thoughts just begin? Right from the brand of the person’s clothes to the way he looks, we have an opinion already! We just create an image of him, a shade to look through! And the strange thing that happens to be is that we haven’t even talked.

Take another , you are going to meet a friend’s friend. Now before you actually meet, you already have your shade ready, based upon what your friend thinks about him/her. Now you would say what is bad in creating a view ? After all there is this friend’s EXPERIENCE that backed you. I would say there is a lot of bad. Okay give this a thought, how many personalities do you have?? I mean do you talk or interact with all of your friends, family, elders, younger in the same way?? With the same feeling?? The answer is no! With each person we have a different experience, a different approach and a totally different attitude!

You know we all have this habit of living on our belief sytems or more specifically rash belief systems. We create them and even while we create them we do it absurdly. Over the top we form belief systems that are rigid. Why can’t we be flexible? Why can’t we give time and space to the situation,place and person ¬†to explain themselves. Why do we need to rush things and opinions? My point here is that our thoughts shouldn’t be clouded by our judgements. We should give the other person a chance. We shouldn’t tint it with things like appearance, someone’s opinion and our past experiences. If something happens to us once doesn’t mean it will always happen in the same fashion. Things, people, situations everything is destined to change. No person, No situation and no thing in our life is permanent. If we have a rude teacher doesn’t mean that all teachers are rude. When we base our thoughts on miscalculated judgements we deprive ourselves of the real potential of someone or something. We take ourselves further away from reality. Let’s pledge today to remove our shades of opinions and judgements and view things in the way they are. Let’s not be unjust towards our own thinking and give a chance to life!!

Signing out with some thoughtful rhyme,

Clouds appear as I try to look,

Blurring my vision from every nook.

The reality hides itself somewhere,

Making my opinions unfair.

Standing again I clean my glass,

There on a distance a beautiful vase.

 A view so good cheers me up,

As if a sweetener in my cup.

Let’s again give the other a chance,

And enjoy the beauty of the real dance!!ūüėä

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