A cleaning campaign began in my house, as my mother directed each member of the family towards some cleaning. I snorted at the site of my almirah and regretted not maintaining it in a clean manner throughout the year. Now I had to put an extra effort and clean the things up. As I opened it up, a huge lot of things fell over me. The belongings now took the floor too, making the scene all the more messy. It seemed as if I had all the more dirtied the place. The mess of the almirah had conquered the floor. It took me nearly two hours categorizing the things, discarding the waste ones and rearranging the useful ones back again in the almirah.
After those stressful two hours I smiled proudly at my achievement. I had finally done it. The impossible task which I had been procrastinating since months, was now done beautifully.
A physical cleaning up session had given me so much of satisfaction. I wondered at the satiety a personal emotional cleaning would provide. But then again I thought! There were a hundred of things in my attitude that had always made me feel guilty, whether that be a mood swing, or a rigid way of behaving, Or a habit that had too much power over my ability to control the same. I mean there were so many things about myself that I had been trying to overcome. It is not that, that I didn’t want to heal myself but why weren’t things working up. Why hadn’t the cleaning be successful. I pondered again at the almirah thing. Maybe I was just seeing the mess, the untidiness of my habit!! This mess made me too weak to clean up. And even if I had begun my cleaning I never could wait for those two hours for the mess to clear up.
I always was too overwhelmed with the mess that I failed to see the cleaning up I had already done. I realised that feeling guilty about some personality trait of mine was the first step towards cleaning myself. But eliminating the habit completely too would take some time. Similar to the almirah anecdote where the mess appeared to double up as I opened it, this trait of ours becomes more visible to us as we try and clean it up. And maybe this fact brings in more disappointment in us, in a way weakening us. What I realised was that we have to wait and continue with our efforts of cleaning up until we achieve it. We shouldn’t be disheartened by the repeated mistakes we do even after realising them. We need to continue our effort of organizing ourselves. Because what appears to be may not always be the reality. To build a more beautiful building we have to destroy the previous one giving way to a shabby outlook. But soon we know we will transform this mess into a beautiful thing altogether. Exactly like this we should not loose hope in times when we cannot commit to a transformation. Instead we should denote our full time to it and wait patiently for the result. We would definitely be able to conquer our habits and moods, we just need to focus on the future that we are creating and not brood over the misguiding present that we see!!
Ending my thoughts with a poem,
The mess around disheartens,
None of my sins it pardons,
I know I have tried my best,
Why do I continue to fail the test?
Maybe then I realize,
It takes time to break the messed up ties!
No doubt the darkness disheartens,
But life isn’t all about closed up cartons!
I need to believe in the light that is to come,
And not let my feelings go numb!!
It has to rain before the rainbow shows,
A future in it sows!
Believe in the future of your dreams,
Wait before the unravelling of the beautiful realms!
Glancing upon the empty door I stood,
Thinking about everything that I could,
The jolting memories hurt me again,
Like the strike of a forceful cane.
There are times so good,
But also things that are rude,
Difficult to stop and judge,
All left is a filthy smudge!
The seasons change,
Our emotions these cage,
The cuts are deep,
But one day everything will seep.
This victim feel is good,
Like a cool hood!
The thoughts again turn a mess,
but no one takes a guess!!
May be my inside world replies,
While my breath still sighs,
I force again and twirl my lips,
A smile appears drinking the sorrow in sips!!
Everyday I laugh a lot,
Trembling at the thought of being caught!
Everyday this loud laughter chides,
And sends into oblivion the deep bites!
Yes again I stand stronger,
Giving me the power to fight longer.
Unmindful of my thoughts I mustered into my old room. It had been long since someone had visited it. Smelling of dust and disguising itself under the nets of spooky spiders, the room presented to be a total mess. Crumbled old things awaited me in a corner. As I sat sorting the things I discovered some of my childhood items. What grabbed my attention was a pair of sunglasses. I remembered the crazy childhood times when sunglasses were a treat to me. Different shades lay there as I began trying them on my overgrown face now. Blue, black, yellow, …..I had all of them. Wearing them one by one I saw the way my view changed. Yellow showed me yellow, blue showed me blue and and my favourite black showed everything dark.
A thought conjured upon me the very next moment. These shades changed the way I saw things, coloring them in their own shade. The real color , the real essence became tinted. A thing crossed my mind. Something similar occurs in our real life as well. Maybe the way we talk to people, or the way we see our situations, or the way we see ourselves and our life, everything maybe tinted!!!
But the next question…tinted by what???
Maybe our belief systems, our opinions, our experiences, our way of judging all act as the shades through which we view life. I mean take a simple situation, you meet a person the very first time, what happens in our mind. Don’t our thoughts just begin? Right from the brand of the person’s clothes to the way he looks, we have an opinion already! We just create an image of him, a shade to look through! And the strange thing that happens to be is that we haven’t even talked.
Take another , you are going to meet a friend’s friend. Now before you actually meet, you already have your shade ready, based upon what your friend thinks about him/her. Now you would say what is bad in creating a view ? After all there is this friend’s EXPERIENCE that backed you. I would say there is a lot of bad. Okay give this a thought, how many personalities do you have?? I mean do you talk or interact with all of your friends, family, elders, younger in the same way?? With the same feeling?? The answer is no! With each person we have a different experience, a different approach and a totally different attitude!
You know we all have this habit of living on our belief sytems or more specifically rash belief systems. We create them and even while we create them we do it absurdly. Over the top we form belief systems that are rigid. Why can’t we be flexible? Why can’t we give time and space to the situation,place and person to explain themselves. Why do we need to rush things and opinions? My point here is that our thoughts shouldn’t be clouded by our judgements. We should give the other person a chance. We shouldn’t tint it with things like appearance, someone’s opinion and our past experiences. If something happens to us once doesn’t mean it will always happen in the same fashion. Things, people, situations everything is destined to change. No person, No situation and no thing in our life is permanent. If we have a rude teacher doesn’t mean that all teachers are rude. When we base our thoughts on miscalculated judgements we deprive ourselves of the real potential of someone or something. We take ourselves further away from reality. Let’s pledge today to remove our shades of opinions and judgements and view things in the way they are. Let’s not be unjust towards our own thinking and give a chance to life!!
Signing out with some thoughtful rhyme,
Clouds appear as I try to look,
Blurring my vision from every nook.
The reality hides itself somewhere,
Making my opinions unfair.
Standing again I clean my glass,
There on a distance a beautiful vase.
A view so good cheers me up,
As if a sweetener in my cup.
Let’s again give the other a chance,
And enjoy the beauty of the real dance!!😊