Rakshabandhan Blessings

I struggled my way through the bus door, carrying the heavy bags in my tender hands, lingering my eyes along the seats lined, only to discover that this journey would be a tired one for me. Not even a single seat was left vacant. It was rakshabandhan this weekend and the crowd in the bus really showed it. The bus was full of young brothers excited enough to go home and meet their sisters to bestow them with wonderful happy gifts and promises of protection and love.  I adjusted myself in a safe corner away from the thrusts and squeezing of the arms and stood supporting myself along the railing of a seat. On that seat sat two young men discussing their plans for the occasion. Their excited voices amplified as they started boasting about the expensive gifts they had borrowed for their respective sisters. “FAMILY MEN” I thought and felt happy for their sisters who were really blessed to have such caring brothers. Their discussion continued but not our journey. It had been half an hour since we were stuck in a jam. For obvious reasons everyone in the bus felt helpless and terrible as the  scaling temperatures added to the mess. It became all the more difficult for me to continue in that standing position. I had my eyes fixed on all seats if any one could just get up and offer me their seat. Just because I was a “stranger” and not by blood anyone’s “sister” no one adjusted or offered their seat to me. I felt miserable. Had these happy men sitting besides me their sister along with them they wouldn’t have left any stone unturned in securing a seat for her. But no one really noticed me. I preferred to ignore this disturbing thought and switched my thoughts to something else. Two minutes later these guys disturbed me from my positive solace as they shouted swear words to the driver. I had heard these hindi cuss words a thousand times in my life (a sister cussing word) but never did I feel the impact of it the way I did at that time. I wondered at the irony of these men who were selfish enough to love only their own sisters. Just minutes before this incident they were boasting about their love for their sisters and now they sat swearing not even aware of the words they used. Not only these two men I am sure there are hundreds of men like them who promise protection to their sisters yet are not ready to give the respect or dignity that any other women except their own sister requires. They can use cuss words aiming at any girl, even mothers , they cannot offer comfort to women who are strangers to them but yes they very much respect their own sisters or women directly related to them. I am not saying that these men use the swear word consciously to belittle any brother sister relation but yes they can always consciously not use this word after realizing the real sense of these words. How many times do men and nowadays even women think before they degrade a brother sister relation to dirt? Not even once , its a habit!
Is it not our responsibility to curb such habits? Instead of gifting expensive watches or dresses to your sisters pledge to give up one bad habit of yours. Reducing 3-4 words from your vocabulary won’t take much of an effort but doing so would definitely make this Rakshabandhan true to its spirit. Rakshabandhan means giving the brother sister bond its true respect.
Besides this lets pledge this RAKSHABANDHAN to give all girls (whether she is or isn’t your sister, mother, friend, girlfriend, wife or neighbor) the respect she deserves. We cannot socialize this message beyond social networking sites but as responsible men and women we can surely pose an example. We can show thousands of ignorant men and women what it means to respect. I would sincerely request people who regularly travel by bus to please offer your seats to women and old people because maybe you are the only safe brother in the entire bus. Another man may be preying upon the girl standing next to you with eyes of lust. She may get secretly and silently molested without anyone even noticing it. So offer her your seat to prevent such incidents. The way fathers and brothers restrict their daughter’s and sister’s timings and clothes to some limits to prevent any kind of mishappening, the same way we can also prevent a hundred such incidences. Make the girl sitting next to you feel comfortable and not vulnerable sitting next to you. This rakshabandhan when your sister ties the thread around your wrist promise her respect, give her a sense of confidence to face the world. Make her believe that clothing restrictions on her is our fault not hers. And don’t give this gift of invulnerability only to your own sister but to everyone’s sister as well.
Every moment you are surrounded by a hundred sisters who aren’t related to you by blood but all of them have brothers who promised them security like you did. They are alone and with strangers like you. Fulfil the promises that their brothers must have done to them. Make a pledge in providing security to them and not eye upon them as pieces of meat. Only when all men see all women around them with the respect and dignity of a sister, will they be able to protect them and make them feel comfortable in the surroundings of unknown men. Gift her respect and a gender neutral world. That is what we as sisters need! Not a thing more and not a thing less!
And one more aspect we all need to realize is that rakshabandhan should be returned to its initial symbolic position where a rakhi can be exchanged between people of any sex and relation as a promise of security. We need to treat rakshabandhan  more than a gift exchange festival between a “strong” brother and a “weak” sister.
A caressing hand ran across her hair,
Providing her comfort and care,
Her eyes shined as she dreamed her future,
only until they were destroyed by nature.
She grew up to fear every man,
Molested as if a used can,
Who was to know why she kept so quiet,
Maybe somewhere someone denied her right.
She suffered alone as she treaded her way,
Sad memories behind her smile so gay!
The caressing hand unaware of her fate,
promised to be her mate,
Only after years so long,
Did that man know what went wrong!
He promised again to protect her always,
but he couldn’t always accompany her in every race.
But he did his part,
And wished upon every girl with the same heart!
The trouble came down encouragingly,
Negatives taking their flee!
Responsible took the power,
Providing every sister its deserving bower!
The world was way to safer now for her,
A caressing pat again around her fur!



“Just leave me alone” , I retorted back at my friend. A “not so serious” discussion had ended up on a fiery note, the obvious reason being that her opinions never really matched mine. We needed to shut up and the only way to do so was not to talk , at least for the next two hours. I needed to be with myself – alone. I needed to sort things out.
The more I discuss the more unhappy I become ! In a way I just felt that more are the people around me, more are my expectations from each of them and lesser is my happiness quotient.
‘Solitude is the highest form of companionship ‘ , they say and true it was at least for that instant!
But what actually happened was that even two hours post my ended discussion my thoughts were still traversing on the words of despite exchanged and mentally I was continuing with my justifying thoughts cursing the hundred recent negative scenarios I had faced. My thought frequency never settled instead just took off at a faster pace. It wasn’t solitude that I was experiencing!
Solitude is a way positive term that describes and makes us experience a different degree of satisfaction for ourselves and our relationships. There is a difference between being in solitude  and being alone. Most of the time we use the label of solitude but actually  practice a different thing. Solitude in its pure form is the highest amount of energy we can cultivate but confusing it with negativity like being a loner is a great folly. Solitude is practiced when you are relaxed and satisfied and sit back to devote sometime for yourself providing it with some positive input.  What I was facing wasn’t solitude instead it was something close to loneliness.  I was disturbed by the fact that my friend couldn’t agree with my viewpoint and in addition to that I felt guilty over the fact that my dependence on her was so much that I couldn’t keep calm when she hovered away from my pattern of thinking. I started assuming and labeling her actions with things like taking me for granted and not UNDERSTANDING me. I was in dire need of her ACCEPTANCE and whenever a time comes when such a thing doesn’t happen I shift into a disturbed state and feel a sense of loneliness. What I realized was in no way did I find any solace in those two hours. A turmoil now with more number of problems and issues lingered on in my mind. I just realized that I had actually created a more resentful and angry thought process. Because I wasn’t ALONE in these two hours instead I was LEAST alone.
When we cage ourselves in such a situation and completely escape off from our friends and family we are actually putting ourselves in more trouble.
As the saying goes ” if you are lonely when you are alone, you are in a bad company”, pointing to the FACT that closing yourself from the world at a point when you are emotionally frustrated is like inviting a worse phase for yourself. In such a state of mind we tend to create scenarios which do not even exist in real life. An extremely negative state of mind forces us to see everything in a bad color and in a discolored state. We start becoming rigid and cold. We start viewing people and situations as weapons lined up against us. A sense of negativity for the people around us dominates our thinking pattern.
But then what should I have done at that time? If being alone at a such a point wasn’t a cool idea, even continuing with the blaming words and our arguments wasn’t also. So what really should I have done? Maybe listening to some positive advise from someone was a better option. Take for instance your best friend has a fight with her sibling and then texts you about that scene. She is really disturbed!  What would be your reaction? You would obviously cool her down and advise her to focus on the positive habits of her sibling and not be disturbed. You will find ways to cheer her up and help her in regaining her calm. The way your friend will now react will be way too different from the way she would have earlier behaved. Maybe if she hadn’t texted you she would have thought about a hundred scenarios where her sibling wasn’t good to her but now maybe she is ready to sort out things with her sibling just because her mind is now in a calm state and whatever she thinks now is rational thinking and not a frustration driven  thought pattern.
That is where the essence of the fact lies. We also at such a time need a relieving pill in the form of a person or some positive input. At such a point we should either discuss with a person who will lighten our mood or indulge ourselves in something positive like listening to a positive lecture , writing ten positive things about our life or something similar which shifts our attention towards positivity. We should not close ourselves because that is synonymous to poisoning ourselves. We need to surround ourselves with positive energy and people. We need to reinforce the fact that life and people love me! We need to remove ourselves from the label of DEPENDENCY and consequently from the feeling of LONELINESS. The more you push yourself in the alone category more remorseful we tend to become! Surrounding ourselves with chirpy people who laugh things out instead of being too critical about them is the secret to elevate your feeling especially at times when you are emotionally drained out. So don’t be disheartened when things don’t work in the way as I expect them to be instead look for more positive thrusts in life!
The crazy mingles deafen,
venomous words strangle,
The world staging its shuddering gamble,
Look down upon me,
blurting out a traumatic fumble!
The loneliness haunts my trifling silence,
Whispers diminishing reliance!
But then again fortune shines,
Clouding away resentful whines,
A friend enters easing the walk,
resounding hard makes a knock!
The laughs shout and discolor the black,
Cheers heaped in my sack!
The maze soon clears the hint,
Stabilizing every trivial tilt !!



Another day dawns,
but our life still yawns.
The sadness still alive,
with every thought taking a dive!
The complications seem simple,
turning our life into ripples.
Blaming ..yes it helps
soothing away our soul,the inside victim yells!

People around change,
darkening the inner cage,
set free in a dark forest
everyday turns out to be a big test.
Failures deter us,
life becomes a fuss,
life seems to be taking revenge,
a big war to avenge!
Lost in tatters we cry, 
feelings suffer a fry.
Fakeness shows,
seed of hollowness it sows!
Frustrated the world appears a maze,
every moment seems a never ending phase!
Who knows this would stop,
and our feelings would take that hop!
The chopping knives kill me,
irritation comes even from a buzzing bee!
They say life is a mystery solve it,
but it just eats away bit by bit.
Caught in situations we cant justify,
only the breath can be heard full of sighs!
Our very essence changes,
the world just gazes!
Trying to run,escape
but the fears do always gape.
Hope just hope is left,
expectations the theft!
Longing for a big hug,
one who accepts us with our guilt filled jug.
Searching in vain for acceptance,
left only is repentance!
We all our alone..yes its true,
even though the world promises to be our crew!
Fighting alone with our own being,
need someone to do our seiving.
The monotony still continues,
turning into mist life’s hue 😦



My phone beeped as I got another memory full reminder. Searching through the file manager I searched for videos and photos that I could delete. Some of the media I hadn’t even seen. As I clicked onto one of the videos it gave me an option panel so as to select the software required to run it. After I made the selection another panel appeared which asked whether I always wanted to play such files with the selected software or just this time.
I selected the “always” option as I didn’t want to be bothered again by such a selection.  I continued my ordeal of viewing and deleting the waste and keeping the useful. In the process I stumbled upon a video which didn’t play in the player I had earlier selected. I didn’t know how to change it because the options no more appeared ( a consequence of my “always” choice ) . I felt helpless and regretted the automatic choice I had taken. Not wasting more of  my time in filtering my phone I smashed it on the sofa and left the place.
I headed towards the kitchen , the  string of thoughts still continuing in my mind and unmindful of what to do next with my life , opened the refrigerator door and stared. I didn’t know for what I had done it, maybe to look for something to eat  or pass my time or what! I just stood there and STARED. I closed it and searched for the TV remote-my next solace. But in that too I just kept flipping the channels nowhere to stop and judge what I wanted to see or do. Two minutes later I was standing in front of the refrigerator door and staring again at the contents inside. I suddenly realized that this was the second time I had opened it without any clear thought or motive. I mean I didn’t even THINK before getting up and landing at the same place for the second time. WAIT! How can I do something without thinking? And strange it was that I felt that almost 90% of the actions I perform everyday are without apparent thinking! I mean most of the time I don’t even think about the task that I do. Right from the route I follow to reach my college to the breakfast I order in the college canteen , everything is automated! I don’t think and guide myself in doing many things, all just happens! My mind and body are rarely together. Most of me is automated. My actions no longer seek my permission or ask me the way to do things. And that is what later becomes my habit!. Right HABIT!
What is basically a habit? It is automated way of working. Whenever we have to do something our mind works in three steps.
First a thought sprouts  about a particular task. This thought is then CONSIDERED by the mind and a judgment  is made whether the thought has to be followed or not. After the mind gives its decision our body is directed towards the action.
Take for example you are in an exam and you have a really difficult and important exam paper in front of you. You desperately feel the desire to cheat a particular answer but the problem is that you have never cheated in an exam before. So you happen to fall in a dilemma where you have to choose either your career or your values.
So in this instance the THOUGHT is “Should I cheat?” and this thought is given to the mind for judgment. The mind decides and makes a decision .  Say the decision is in favor of cheating and a justification follows justifying the decision the mind takes. So the decision goes “Its okay to cheat. I am doing it for the first time because its my need otherwise my future may get destroyed”. And the action taken is cheating!
Now the second time you are sitting for an exam and in a similar situation the time you take for the decision making is comparatively less as you have earlier faced a similar situation. So the second time also the mind approves the task of cheating but with a comparatively lesser thinking .
But by the fifth time you are faced with the same situation you skip the second step and directly commit the action of cheating as you have justified yourself many times before! Whenever you are placed in a situation similar to this you just think of cheating and act directly without taking the decision or judging your thought.
This process in which we skip the judgment part and directly act on the basis of previous experiences it is called a habit. HABITS are an embodiment of the automated way of working!
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As far as the daily chores are concerned these habits don’t really matter but when it comes to our behavior these play a major role. If someone tells me you are short tempered I mostly retort by saying that this is my way of working and I wont CHANGE. Its my habit.
And strange enough we all have our belief systems rigid enough to tell us that habits don’t change!
But we just realized that habits are nothing but actions which skipped the decision making part. So changing a habit means realizing the second step again!
But the real problem is that we make the habit OURS. We associate the habit with our personality. What we don’t realize is that it is something that I have ACQUIRED and not something that I always had. I consciously CHOSE a way of doing things and I still possess the power to ALTER it.
If I am addicted to smoking doesn’t mean I should start calling myself a SMOKER, because the moment you do so you start owning the habit more and gradually you start skipping the first step as well and you don’t even think before you take out a cigarette and start smoking it. The thought part also skips. What you are left with is action.
What we need to realize is that before I start owning the habit or sticking it to me I need to JUDGE! I need to pay attention to the second step again and make a decision that whether I need to continue with it or not. If I have the habit of crying at every small disaster that hits me doesn’t imply I have to call myself emotional. Its a habit and it is different from me. Just like the dress you wear is different and separate from your body and can be changed whenever you are willing to do so, similarly habits are different from me and there is no need to identify with them. You can change them when you will to.
There should be times when we should come out of our automated system and assess ourselves and our habits otherwise the ALWAYS feature may act as a trouble for us. So before approving your thoughts and taking decision, think carefully because these become habits and a way of thinking and changing them requires an extra effort plus extra time. Stop every morning to analyze the words that you use for yourselves and change them these in any way harm your personality. Not only this pay close attention to the thoughts you approve everyday as these become your lifetime labels.
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The pencil writes leaving an impression,
  presenting to me a lifetime suggestion,
 the past reveals itself in the future pages,
leaving a mark for ages!
yes my decision today,
will take its say,
And shine above my intellect,
my knowledge and my every fact!
I am not a servant whom habits can dictate,
I am their master designing my fate!
 Appearances are deceptive- yes its true,
depend on your yourself as there is no crew!
CHANGE what shows to the world,
A victorious flag higher in its position hurled!
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However much tragic  or wonderful our life is, we are always hideous about ourselves, about our feelings. We tend to bottle up ourselves not giving the other even a hint of the reality. We are so busy pretending that somewhere we ourselves loose track of the reality playing the game of SELF HYPNOSIS! A state in which we play our game of life with extreme seriousness, disguising ourselves from our own weakness, as well as from our enemy or rival. Not only others we ourselves start ignoring the weaknesses we have, trying to pull off a mask that shines by its cover. But wonderfully said ” never judge the book by its cover”. If I am a bubbly, chirpy kinds on the outside, it doesn’t imply that I am a blessed soul on the inside as well!, If I am silent on the outside doesn’t imply I am satisfied on the inside too! We all have our list of traumas and sad times whether these come from our family, friends , professional life or sometimes from ourselves only! But yes the real fooling comes when we label ourselves to be strong by pulling up a smile on our face even in the wake of adverse times. Is that really being strong? By bottling up my weaknesses or  sorrows, giving myself an inner satisfaction that yes I am a VICTIM , I am bearing all this alone and stuff! NO! The reality lies in the fact that this is nothing more than FOOLING around. And yes I am proudly a member of it! The reason I have been doing this my entire life is because this VICTIM zone , this SAD zone has turned into my COMFORT ZONE. Its difficult , nae , IMPOSSIBLE to leave the victim me! But that is where the real strength lies! Strength lies in coming out of the hypnosis, facing reality! Being open about who you are and what you face.
“To share your weakness is to make yourself vulnerable; to make yourself vulnerable is to show your strength.”
I just passed upon this quote and voila! Loved it 🙂
Often vulnerability is the reason why I disguise myself. Even when I actually discuss my weakness or my problem with someone a guilt attitude starts riding up. I am worried that  either I would be looked upon by a sympathetic eye or would be attacked by a ferocious eye targeting my vulnerabilities. Either way its difficult ! Yes again I say its DIFFICULT . And DIFFICULT in my dictionary is synonymous to STRENGTH.
We all have had difficult times and we know these have made us stronger. Expressing yourselves is not making yourselves weak. It means you give the other person the full power to destroy you, you reveal every sensitive detail about yourself , you show them your plan so that they can target you in the best way possible ! But  remember attacks are never done without the other’s defense. If you have the power to reveal yourself and your situation to someone outside ( which really takes a lot of power) you have a higher strength of protecting yourself! A highly equipped army never attacks on a weak base, It looks for EQUAL competition! Therefore in case the other person threatens you with their attack, remember you have a higher power of defending yourself! If you can easily make yourselves vulnerable you can also protect yourselves. Maybe you aren’t prepared but deadlines and emergencies have the potential to guide the impossible.  Think of a disease that hits your town. No  one has ever heard about it and there is no cure to it. People start dying because of this. A state of emergency builds up , the doctors start working on it. And sooner or later a drug is invented which can combat the disease. Similar to this, it may take time to protect yourselves but sooner or later you will be able to do it. One day the cure that you will find will leave you stronger and more immune to such emotional disasters. So in case you discuss with someone any of your problems or any of your weakness don’t take think of it as a vulnerability, instead take it as a strength that you had the strength to reveal yourselves in the real way you are.
But this doesn’t mean that you always need to discuss. A higher strength lies in pulling up a smile on the outside and working upon yourself on the inside. Inner healing is superior to all! Working upon your weakness and your problems and to be able to come out of the trauma completely on your own will power and determination is the real strength ! And until you aren’t able to do so drive the physical negatives away from your life and stay around positive ones!
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 Saddened again I cry hard,
A cruel message on my card.
life takes it revenge,
 a ferocious war to avenge.
A shoulder appears,resting upon it I cry,
but soon it takes a leave, a scornful bye!
and then the knives point at me,
everywhere that I see!
Fighting hard I put an effort,
killing negativities of anger and hurt!
A stronger warrior now challenging the world,
The shooters all knurled!
yes the strength triumphs again,
losses multiplying into gains!


Vacations over and now it is time to be busy! Yes, college starts again and a new chapter awaits me. Recollecting my previous year, I know it is going to be really difficult managing my way through the things. Lectures, friends, college formalities, rushing from one place to another and stuff would now become the objectives of my day!. A mere five to six extra chores would be sufficient enough to exhaust me physically!
I pondered again ,  PHYSICALLY!
I wondered about my mind. Is my mind ever tired? And even if it is, how do I relax it? SLEEP maybe! But no, I have these unending dreams and I know my mind is responsible for it. So when does my mind actually rest? The answer is really strange – NEVER!
Searching through the net, I discovered that we create about thirty to forty thousand thoughts on a normal day! The mind is always thinking, something or the other. It is always busy and strange it is, that it never rests, never relaxes! This is maybe because the mind’s function is to think, create thoughts – just like the river – it always flows! . Mind is another name for a reservoir of thoughts seeking fulfillment in something other than itself. If I try to obstruct the path of flowing water with my hand it will find ways to pass. If I put a stronger obstruction a pressure starts building up and as soon as the obstruction is removed the flow begins again but with a HIGHER pressure
and INTENSITY. In a way I cannot control the flow!  Even if I trap some water in an area, the stagnant water starts rotting.Algae and stuff start polluting it. Stagnancy destroys its essence.
Similar is the case with our mind. Controlling thoughts, reaching the stage of complete silence is something not suitable and healthy for my mind, because the mind’s job is to think. I cannot in any way reach the stage of zero thoughts. I cannot deprive my mind of the function it performs. But then again can I just allow my mind to flow and let it keep working its entire life?
We know even the best of the machines need lubrication and some rest to let off the heat they produce.
So what does my mind need to get lubricated and become fresh again. Sleep – yes I can say, as it definitely SLOWS DOWN my mind . But not most of us get the sleep that actually relaxes  the mind , to be typical we don’t take that DELTA SLEEP in which our mind actually relaxes. There is the domination of dreams and often disturbed sleeping patterns. In reality we often get up in the morning feeling very tired and exhausted. This is because the mind couldn’t relax even though the body did. So what else would help my mind?
MEDITATION is another solution. But what do we actually mean by MEDITATION? There are a number of theories relating to it.
Some say silence your mind, stop your thoughts and become thoughtless but I believe, even in such a process we are still creating this thought which says ” DON’T THINK”. This “DON’T THINK” is itself a thought which prevents us from reaching the complete silence stage instead it sometimes makes the head feel heavy. Obviously any kind of restriction is sure to create some pressure.
So switching to another theory, there are things like concentrate on your breath. Now what actually happens when you concentrate on your breath? It is actually a successful way in which you fool your mind to concentrate on something else rather than the monotonous string of thoughts, thereby acting as a replacement of the unending WASTE thoughts going in your mind. It slows down our mind surely! But even when we practice this, our mind isn’t able to completely concentrate on the breath. It often switches to its thinking habit. But yes practicing everyday surely would help. Concentration takes time to build up and we need to devote some time to it.
But then another thing stings me. Why is it so difficult to come out of our thinking ways? Why does our mind slip so easily? Why do we need to PRACTICE HARD to make our mind rest?
Maybe because the thoughts that we think are really interesting and engrossing? Or maybe we are very much used to it! It has become a STICKY habit.
So there is one other solution that presents itself! Do something MORE INTERESTING than your endless list of waste thoughts. Think of this, you are babysitting a child. He gets hold of a matchbox or a lighter and refuses to give it to you. You try and explain him that its not safe but the child loves it more than your lectures! so what do you do? You simply give the child a toy which attracts him more. Unaware he drops off the lighter and starts playing with the toy! RIGHT? This actually happens!
So what is the solution that we found? It is REPLACEMENT. Our mind is also like a child. Give it something else to think about and make sure this something else refreshes your mind and drives away its fatigue. The best replacement is POSITIVE AFFIRMATIONS. Give your mind some really good affirmations as you get up in the morning and just before you sleep. Thoughts like “I AM THE HAPPIEST BEING”, “EVERYBODY LOVES ME” , “MY LIFE IS THE BEST” are thoughts which will actually relax you. It is scientifically proved that the speed of positive thoughts is much slower than negative ones. So when you start thinking positive the mind slows down and reaches the stage of relaxation. Positivity relaxes the mind and provides it the rest that the mind needs. For me this is the definition of MEDITATION , replacing my vicious cycle of thoughts with slower positive ones!

Concluding with a soothing poem,
The Mind plays its games again,
making me wonder if it is a boon or a bane?
Endless thoughts rush rapidly,
Relaxation taking a flee!
I Carry a burden everyday,
Stress having its say!
This now becomes a part of me,
Positivity its key!
A jammed lock  opens up,
Filling freshness in my cup!
A new aura touches my life,
sending into trash the deep knives!
Lighter again I fly higher,
providing me a soothing bower!


download (3) As I pulled hard the stapled pin, trying to detach it from the bunch of papers,  the pin came out tearing the edge of sheets. Grumbling curses at the untidy way I had handled the papers, I took hold of the next set. Taking great care and trying to avoid the same mistake again , this time I pulled the pin very gently. The pin came out smoothly, but still left the papers with its marks. I did it in the most gentle way yet I could not undo the minimal damage the pin had done.  I rearranged the jumbled set and stapled them again, thus imprinting a new mark on them and in a way damaging the paper’s original presentation. Anyhow I finished my work and relaxed back in my bed. I felt a sudden urge to go out in the open and take a walk. But then I thought about my mother whose call was to come anytime and I feared the amount of worry she had for me. If she came to know that I had gone on a stroll at this hour of the day, her tensions might just flood up more. So I put aside the idea and tried to bounce back to sleep again. But a thought kept disturbing me. I recalled the stapler incident and tried connecting it to my mother’s worry effect on me. Just like the stapler’s attachment to the paper had damaged the paper, similarly my mother’s attachment to me had left a mark on my life. I feared doing things that might worry her. Fear and worry came out as results of our attachment to each other. I wondered at the number of souls to whom I am attached and what all results has my attachment  fetched the relation? To my surprise a huge array of negative emotions were linked to this attachment of mine. Take it expectations, worry, fear , anger, distrust all were a by product of the strings I had attached to people. Attachment had left me more emotional than practical. And it wasn’t just people but also things, religions, belief systems and what not. Now take for instance, why are the Hindu Muslim groups fighting? Answer is attachment – ATTACHMENT TO RELIGION. We don’t even logically judge the situation, we just behave in a way that justifies our attachment. We take literally no time in binding strings to things, people, situations. What happens when we fight with a loved one? Attachment works again. We take the words spoken by the person so close to our hearts that it becomes impossible for us to forgive them. Reason is we are attached! Now you tell your story to an outsider that this is the issue that bothers us, they will have an immediate solution at hand. Why?? Because they aren’t attached. Why couldn’t we, think of a solution? Because we were so overwhelmed by the fight and the person in it. Attachment isn’t good , it is in all its forms – selfish. We cry for our a loved one who dies, not because they are not here anymore but because I fear how MY LIFE would be without them. How will I survive without them. It’s ME. I fear a breaking relation not because how the other person would feel but because how would I feel?, how would I do things without them! A criminal’s mother keeps defending her child even when she knows the truth, Why?? Answer remains the same – Attachment. We need to realise the urgency of being detached from things, people and situations. Detachment doesn’t imply rigidness or being  cold. Not at all. Detachment means analysing things the way they are after getting rid of ropes and strings. For instance a son has to go to a foreign country to complete his education. But his mother is not ready to take the step just because she is too much attached and cannot let her child go. And in a way she deprives her child of an opportunity that he could have availed. Maybe the entire life he keeps blaming his mother for the experience he missed. Instead if the mother had behaved logically and sent the child happily, the son’s future might have been a different one. images (5) We need to realise that we need to give people their space. We shouldn’t burden them or drop our responsibility on them making them the guides of our life. A healthy relation is one where you care for the other not where you impose yourself on the other. If a loved one is in pain due to an emotional issue , my responsibility goes in understanding their situation and giving them the power to come out of it and not in crying in their pain. If they are hurt, I have to cure them and not carry the hurt myself. We need to heal people and things around us and not damage or imprint them  with our issues and worries. ” Charity begins at home” they say! And true it is. We need to first love ourselves, make ourselves happy and then only we can care for the whole world! An UNCHARGED battery cannot by any means charge another. We need to first charge ourselves and then with a DETACHED VISION help others. Because attachment isn’t a positive emotion! Don’t mix it with care. Love has to be unconditional and if its conditional it has attachment involved. Let go of this attachment and a new perspective  would  definitely await us!

The strings slowed my pace,

Making it a difficult chase!

I sat reflecting as I hurt myself,

Reduced to a wimpy elf!

The strings no more took us together,

Hurt came even from a feather.

Bruises now covered my skin,

No where could I see my win!

Removing the chains I took some steps,

Clearing away my unending debts!

Freedom Again kissed my soul,

Offering me a decorated bowl!

Happy smiles gathered along,

Refreshing as a new song!!☺

Author : Mridul Bedi

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