As I pulled hard the stapled pin, trying to detach it from the bunch of papers, the pin came out tearing the edge of sheets. Grumbling curses at the untidy way I had handled the papers, I took hold of the next set. Taking great care and trying to avoid the same mistake again , this time I pulled the pin very gently. The pin came out smoothly, but still left the papers with its marks. I did it in the most gentle way yet I could not undo the minimal damage the pin had done. I rearranged the jumbled set and stapled them again, thus imprinting a new mark on them and in a way damaging the paper’s original presentation. Anyhow I finished my work and relaxed back in my bed. I felt a sudden urge to go out in the open and take a walk. But then I thought about my mother whose call was to come anytime and I feared the amount of worry she had for me. If she came to know that I had gone on a stroll at this hour of the day, her tensions might just flood up more. So I put aside the idea and tried to bounce back to sleep again. But a thought kept disturbing me. I recalled the stapler incident and tried connecting it to my mother’s worry effect on me. Just like the stapler’s attachment to the paper had damaged the paper, similarly my mother’s attachment to me had left a mark on my life. I feared doing things that might worry her. Fear and worry came out as results of our attachment to each other. I wondered at the number of souls to whom I am attached and what all results has my attachment fetched the relation? To my surprise a huge array of negative emotions were linked to this attachment of mine. Take it expectations, worry, fear , anger, distrust all were a by product of the strings I had attached to people. Attachment had left me more emotional than practical. And it wasn’t just people but also things, religions, belief systems and what not. Now take for instance, why are the Hindu Muslim groups fighting? Answer is attachment – ATTACHMENT TO RELIGION. We don’t even logically judge the situation, we just behave in a way that justifies our attachment. We take literally no time in binding strings to things, people, situations. What happens when we fight with a loved one? Attachment works again. We take the words spoken by the person so close to our hearts that it becomes impossible for us to forgive them. Reason is we are attached! Now you tell your story to an outsider that this is the issue that bothers us, they will have an immediate solution at hand. Why?? Because they aren’t attached. Why couldn’t we, think of a solution? Because we were so overwhelmed by the fight and the person in it. Attachment isn’t good , it is in all its forms – selfish. We cry for our a loved one who dies, not because they are not here anymore but because I fear how MY LIFE would be without them. How will I survive without them. It’s ME. I fear a breaking relation not because how the other person would feel but because how would I feel?, how would I do things without them! A criminal’s mother keeps defending her child even when she knows the truth, Why?? Answer remains the same – Attachment. We need to realise the urgency of being detached from things, people and situations. Detachment doesn’t imply rigidness or being cold. Not at all. Detachment means analysing things the way they are after getting rid of ropes and strings. For instance a son has to go to a foreign country to complete his education. But his mother is not ready to take the step just because she is too much attached and cannot let her child go. And in a way she deprives her child of an opportunity that he could have availed. Maybe the entire life he keeps blaming his mother for the experience he missed. Instead if the mother had behaved logically and sent the child happily, the son’s future might have been a different one. We need to realise that we need to give people their space. We shouldn’t burden them or drop our responsibility on them making them the guides of our life. A healthy relation is one where you care for the other not where you impose yourself on the other. If a loved one is in pain due to an emotional issue , my responsibility goes in understanding their situation and giving them the power to come out of it and not in crying in their pain. If they are hurt, I have to cure them and not carry the hurt myself. We need to heal people and things around us and not damage or imprint them with our issues and worries. ” Charity begins at home” they say! And true it is. We need to first love ourselves, make ourselves happy and then only we can care for the whole world! An UNCHARGED battery cannot by any means charge another. We need to first charge ourselves and then with a DETACHED VISION help others. Because attachment isn’t a positive emotion! Don’t mix it with care. Love has to be unconditional and if its conditional it has attachment involved. Let go of this attachment and a new perspective would definitely await us!
The strings slowed my pace,
Making it a difficult chase!
I sat reflecting as I hurt myself,
Reduced to a wimpy elf!
The strings no more took us together,
Hurt came even from a feather.
Bruises now covered my skin,
No where could I see my win!
Removing the chains I took some steps,
Clearing away my unending debts!
Freedom Again kissed my soul,
Offering me a decorated bowl!
Happy smiles gathered along,
Refreshing as a new song!!☺
Author : Mridul Bedi
Everyone has a dream, an aim in life, right?? We all want to achieve something big in life. But not all of us reach the destination we select for ourselves. Often things like procrastination , lack of hard work, loss of interest act as hindrances to our efforts. Most of the times we loose track of our journey to success. But what is it that makes us let go of our dreams so easily? The answer I discovered was OUR THOUGHTS.
“You are today where your thoughts have brought you, you will be tomorrow where your thoughts will take you.”
What we think most of the time becomes the foundation of our future. The frequency of our thoughts in a day is very high. It ranges from 30,000 to 40,000 thoughts. What we need to focus on is the QUALITY of these thoughts. Until and unless we do not direct these thoughts in the right direction, we won’t be able to achieve it. Our goal should always be alive in our minds. We should be mad about our dreams. A FIRM DETERMINATION is the first step towards achieving something big in life. Secondly the aim that we pursue shouldn’t be a forced one. It must be our own innate DESIRE to work towards it. Only if we have a BURNING DESIRE to achieve our goal, would we be able to put in our conscientious efforts to achieve it. Make that dream your NECESSITY and something to die for. Let the goal occupy your mind always. Let the thought of achieving your goal make you mad. Only when majority of your thoughts are tuned towards achievement will you be able to make it a reality. Thoughts of doubt and failure should be kept at a distance. Do not, by any means doubt your own capability. Thoughts like “will I be able to achieve it?” , “what if I fail” should be brushed off your mind. Only the goal and its achievement should be the food for thought. Make for yourself a VISION BOARD where you daily see your dreams and make efforts to convert it into reality.
The next step that comes is EFFORTS. Put your soul into whatever you do. Materialise your thoughts into action. As William Hazlitt quotes, “GREAT THOUGHTS REDUCED TO PRACTICE BECOME GREAT ACTS”. He emphasizes the need for hard work and practice. Work upon your firm DETERMINATION and take a step further in achieving your goals. Only practice can give us that inner satisfaction and confidence to work more. Habits like laziness, procrastination act as obstacles to our smooth journey and these must be given up. Don’t let your thoughts waiver and keep them fixed on your goal.
Ending my thoughts with a few lines,
I cleared the picture in my mind,
Decorating them with thoughts so kind,
The goal was set at its highest place,
Glancing upon me on the face!
The chase began as I followed my dreams,
Enlighten by the shining beams,
I followed my heart and took the step,
Brushing away the worries that crept!
A new future now awaits,
Setting for my mind healthier baits! ☺☺
How many of you think that you adjust alot with people?? Or like really put up an effort to keep the relation alive? How often do we say things like “I am tired of compromising” , “when will you change?”, “why can’t you be understanding?” , “when will you start acting responsible?” And I can go on! Our complaint box seems to be overflowing sometimes. These relationships are a real headache. But I ponder often upon the irony of relationships. I mean these are meant to make us happy, see the good in life but lately these have been more of a burden than stress busters and relievers! Really tired of the havoc these have created in my life I paused again and analysed. Most of the time the thing that made me unhappy was the way the other person behaved or a habit she/he had. I mean the problem is with THEM not me! But then again I have read quotes like ” people never change ” and similar stuff. I suddenly realised that it has always been like this. No amount of bickering or complaining changes anyone. And the more you tell others how “not so good” they are, the more irritating they become. In a way maybe it is right also! Who likes to be rejected? If someone comes and tells me a hundred reasons why I am not good, I would just be hating that person. Similar to that, when we reject someone it gives them no reason to change for us. Why should they? If I cannot appreciate anything good in them, then why do they need to put up an effort to change? Just so that I can accept them?? Isn’t this so funny?? We are so busy rejecting people that we don’t even realise that we are giving every reason for the relationship to not workout. But yes if I go out of the league and instead of rejecting I start accepting them, maybe they will find a reason to work upon themselves.
So first thing, ACCEPTANCE , deep understanding and seeing their point of view may help, because everyone is right according to their own perspective. Even a criminal has a justification for what he does.
Secondly, we know we have to interact with the same set of people for a long time. We have only two options at our disposal, either I don’t accept them and keep crying about the situation and one day just give up, or I accept them entirely and leave room for some improvement! And even in the second case if they don’t change I wouldn’t be bothered because I already accepted them!
Third thing, what is the use if the other person changes? They we will one day just walk off our life, what will there changing do to us? We only became all the more dependent on people changing for my happiness and that won’t happen every time!
So what I realised was that there are hundreds of people who are rejecting hundreds of others, but somewhere what we all need is people who accept! Let’s start the thing with us. There maybe many who are waiting for my acceptance. Let’s accept every person that we meet and leave behind things like judgement, criticism and gossiping. There is a lot to learn from people around us. Let’s learn the good and let go off the bad! ACCEPTANCE has a lot of positive attached with it. When we send the person next to us an energy of acceptance we send them this gift of positivity. The law of karma will bring this back to us. So for the future good lets today pledge to start the cycle of good wishes and acceptance. ☺
I smiled at him despite his mistake,
Ignored the past full of fake,
He smiled again and turned his life,
Cutting the bad with a powerful knife!
A changed being now awaits me,
Beyond imperfections I can see.
The smile was powerful indeed,
Washing away the selfish greed!
Happier are the smiles which now we share,
Sprinkled with a sparkling flair.
The touch worked its magic again,
Washing away a lifetime bane!
I am happy that I smiled that day,
And left room for the chance that lay!!
The unending paths show,
Different destinations these know.
The trees alongside wave,
The windy secrets these cave.
The natural paintings steel my heart,
Presenting God’s wondrous art!
The breeze providing the shady bower,
Keep the scorching heat ajar!
Fields disguising a farmer’s toil,
Seeds of the future in the soil!
The tyres rolling their journey ahead,
Fighting the sun turning red,
The vibrant laughs decorate the path,
Burning away the unexplained wrath!
Hours take me miles away,
In excitement my heart sways!
The sky offers an endless view,
Showing everytime something so afresh and new!
A different atmosphere dawns,
Driving away the thorny horns!
I rejoice again as the breeze cools,
Sadness again it fools!
Yes I love these travels,
A promising future these marvel!!
A cleaning campaign began in my house, as my mother directed each member of the family towards some cleaning. I snorted at the site of my almirah and regretted not maintaining it in a clean manner throughout the year. Now I had to put an extra effort and clean the things up. As I opened it up, a huge lot of things fell over me. The belongings now took the floor too, making the scene all the more messy. It seemed as if I had all the more dirtied the place. The mess of the almirah had conquered the floor. It took me nearly two hours categorizing the things, discarding the waste ones and rearranging the useful ones back again in the almirah.
After those stressful two hours I smiled proudly at my achievement. I had finally done it. The impossible task which I had been procrastinating since months, was now done beautifully.
A physical cleaning up session had given me so much of satisfaction. I wondered at the satiety a personal emotional cleaning would provide. But then again I thought! There were a hundred of things in my attitude that had always made me feel guilty, whether that be a mood swing, or a rigid way of behaving, Or a habit that had too much power over my ability to control the same. I mean there were so many things about myself that I had been trying to overcome. It is not that, that I didn’t want to heal myself but why weren’t things working up. Why hadn’t the cleaning be successful. I pondered again at the almirah thing. Maybe I was just seeing the mess, the untidiness of my habit!! This mess made me too weak to clean up. And even if I had begun my cleaning I never could wait for those two hours for the mess to clear up.
I always was too overwhelmed with the mess that I failed to see the cleaning up I had already done. I realised that feeling guilty about some personality trait of mine was the first step towards cleaning myself. But eliminating the habit completely too would take some time. Similar to the almirah anecdote where the mess appeared to double up as I opened it, this trait of ours becomes more visible to us as we try and clean it up. And maybe this fact brings in more disappointment in us, in a way weakening us. What I realised was that we have to wait and continue with our efforts of cleaning up until we achieve it. We shouldn’t be disheartened by the repeated mistakes we do even after realising them. We need to continue our effort of organizing ourselves. Because what appears to be may not always be the reality. To build a more beautiful building we have to destroy the previous one giving way to a shabby outlook. But soon we know we will transform this mess into a beautiful thing altogether. Exactly like this we should not loose hope in times when we cannot commit to a transformation. Instead we should denote our full time to it and wait patiently for the result. We would definitely be able to conquer our habits and moods, we just need to focus on the future that we are creating and not brood over the misguiding present that we see!!
Ending my thoughts with a poem,
The mess around disheartens,
None of my sins it pardons,
I know I have tried my best,
Why do I continue to fail the test?
Maybe then I realize,
It takes time to break the messed up ties!
No doubt the darkness disheartens,
But life isn’t all about closed up cartons!
I need to believe in the light that is to come,
And not let my feelings go numb!!
It has to rain before the rainbow shows,
A future in it sows!
Believe in the future of your dreams,
Wait before the unravelling of the beautiful realms!
This is the time of instant success, instant cooking, instant love and so on..thereby creating a need for instant happiness. HAA seriously?? 😀 ..I mean like literally? …when you are in the midst of crisis…I mean right at the centre of it …how can I even afford a smile?? I have no right over it !! …seriously??..think again..which soul in the world is holding your cheek resisting you from giving even a fake smile ?? ..who has the power?? WHO???…the answer is no one. We need to realise that even in an adverse situation like take for example “being on a gun point” …now that is something real forceful….you have the CHOICE to die or do something that the other demands…you consciously CHOOSE to fulfill their demand …there,You CHOOSE …recogonise this …once again I say you possess this power of CHOICE !! Simple..not so difficult..but the question again arises why then does the SITUATION,PERSON,DISASTER dominate over me. Just try and see where does their control lie?.. my answer would be on my physical thing !! Yeah thats the end of it…all of these namely people,situation and disaster excercise control only till the physical and after that IT IS ME WHO ALLOWS THEM TO CONTROL. Our lives today I would say are ruined just because i am ready to be a REMOTE CONTROL. THERE!!! this is the problem . I am a remote control. And may I ask why?Maybe because we are used to it..and why are we used to it? maybe because we have never pondered over the ultimate power that our mind possesses…and what power am I talking about? It is the power to CHANGE! To let go off my regular way of living and thinking …and creating a thought that is different from the regular ….that possesses the power to heal me…I need a conscient thought …that YES I will not let the crisis dominate over me. DO NOT LET ANYTHING PHYSICAL OUTSIDE control the emotional you. YOUR MIND should go by YOUR INDEPENDENT THOUGHTS.
Just a simple fact …”I have more power than the other can pretend to show!! ”
So right in the middle of crisis … just STOP and take the control in your hands …create your ORIGINAL thoughts…free of that crisis…and the result?? INSTANT HAPPINESS 🙂
Before I wind up I would like to present some self composed lines:
In moments of despair,
don’t hesitate to share,
the happiness awaits your arrival,
a moment when you let go of the trivial!
choice again lying in your hands,
free of all bonding bands,
transfer the power back to you,
and articulate a colorful hue!!