Rakshabandhan Blessings

I struggled my way through the bus door, carrying the heavy bags in my tender hands, lingering my eyes along the seats lined, only to discover that this journey would be a tired one for me. Not even a single seat was left vacant. It was rakshabandhan this weekend and the crowd in the bus really showed it. The bus was full of young brothers excited enough to go home and meet their sisters to bestow them with wonderful happy gifts and promises of protection and love.  I adjusted myself in a safe corner away from the thrusts and squeezing of the arms and stood supporting myself along the railing of a seat. On that seat sat two young men discussing their plans for the occasion. Their excited voices amplified as they started boasting about the expensive gifts they had borrowed for their respective sisters. “FAMILY MEN” I thought and felt happy for their sisters who were really blessed to have such caring brothers. Their discussion continued but not our journey. It had been half an hour since we were stuck in a jam. For obvious reasons everyone in the bus felt helpless and terrible as the  scaling temperatures added to the mess. It became all the more difficult for me to continue in that standing position. I had my eyes fixed on all seats if any one could just get up and offer me their seat. Just because I was a “stranger” and not by blood anyone’s “sister” no one adjusted or offered their seat to me. I felt miserable. Had these happy men sitting besides me their sister along with them they wouldn’t have left any stone unturned in securing a seat for her. But no one really noticed me. I preferred to ignore this disturbing thought and switched my thoughts to something else. Two minutes later these guys disturbed me from my positive solace as they shouted swear words to the driver. I had heard these hindi cuss words a thousand times in my life (a sister cussing word) but never did I feel the impact of it the way I did at that time. I wondered at the irony of these men who were selfish enough to love only their own sisters. Just minutes before this incident they were boasting about their love for their sisters and now they sat swearing not even aware of the words they used. Not only these two men I am sure there are hundreds of men like them who promise protection to their sisters yet are not ready to give the respect or dignity that any other women except their own sister requires. They can use cuss words aiming at any girl, even mothers , they cannot offer comfort to women who are strangers to them but yes they very much respect their own sisters or women directly related to them. I am not saying that these men use the swear word consciously to belittle any brother sister relation but yes they can always consciously not use this word after realizing the real sense of these words. How many times do men and nowadays even women think before they degrade a brother sister relation to dirt? Not even once , its a habit!
Is it not our responsibility to curb such habits? Instead of gifting expensive watches or dresses to your sisters pledge to give up one bad habit of yours. Reducing 3-4 words from your vocabulary won’t take much of an effort but doing so would definitely make this Rakshabandhan true to its spirit. Rakshabandhan means giving the brother sister bond its true respect.
Besides this lets pledge this RAKSHABANDHAN to give all girls (whether she is or isn’t your sister, mother, friend, girlfriend, wife or neighbor) the respect she deserves. We cannot socialize this message beyond social networking sites but as responsible men and women we can surely pose an example. We can show thousands of ignorant men and women what it means to respect. I would sincerely request people who regularly travel by bus to please offer your seats to women and old people because maybe you are the only safe brother in the entire bus. Another man may be preying upon the girl standing next to you with eyes of lust. She may get secretly and silently molested without anyone even noticing it. So offer her your seat to prevent such incidents. The way fathers and brothers restrict their daughter’s and sister’s timings and clothes to some limits to prevent any kind of mishappening, the same way we can also prevent a hundred such incidences. Make the girl sitting next to you feel comfortable and not vulnerable sitting next to you. This rakshabandhan when your sister ties the thread around your wrist promise her respect, give her a sense of confidence to face the world. Make her believe that clothing restrictions on her is our fault not hers. And don’t give this gift of invulnerability only to your own sister but to everyone’s sister as well.
Every moment you are surrounded by a hundred sisters who aren’t related to you by blood but all of them have brothers who promised them security like you did. They are alone and with strangers like you. Fulfil the promises that their brothers must have done to them. Make a pledge in providing security to them and not eye upon them as pieces of meat. Only when all men see all women around them with the respect and dignity of a sister, will they be able to protect them and make them feel comfortable in the surroundings of unknown men. Gift her respect and a gender neutral world. That is what we as sisters need! Not a thing more and not a thing less!
And one more aspect we all need to realize is that rakshabandhan should be returned to its initial symbolic position where a rakhi can be exchanged between people of any sex and relation as a promise of security. We need to treat rakshabandhan  more than a gift exchange festival between a “strong” brother and a “weak” sister.
A caressing hand ran across her hair,
Providing her comfort and care,
Her eyes shined as she dreamed her future,
only until they were destroyed by nature.
She grew up to fear every man,
Molested as if a used can,
Who was to know why she kept so quiet,
Maybe somewhere someone denied her right.
She suffered alone as she treaded her way,
Sad memories behind her smile so gay!
The caressing hand unaware of her fate,
promised to be her mate,
Only after years so long,
Did that man know what went wrong!
He promised again to protect her always,
but he couldn’t always accompany her in every race.
But he did his part,
And wished upon every girl with the same heart!
The trouble came down encouragingly,
Negatives taking their flee!
Responsible took the power,
Providing every sister its deserving bower!
The world was way to safer now for her,
A caressing pat again around her fur!



“Just leave me alone” , I retorted back at my friend. A “not so serious” discussion had ended up on a fiery note, the obvious reason being that her opinions never really matched mine. We needed to shut up and the only way to do so was not to talk , at least for the next two hours. I needed to be with myself – alone. I needed to sort things out.
The more I discuss the more unhappy I become ! In a way I just felt that more are the people around me, more are my expectations from each of them and lesser is my happiness quotient.
‘Solitude is the highest form of companionship ‘ , they say and true it was at least for that instant!
But what actually happened was that even two hours post my ended discussion my thoughts were still traversing on the words of despite exchanged and mentally I was continuing with my justifying thoughts cursing the hundred recent negative scenarios I had faced. My thought frequency never settled instead just took off at a faster pace. It wasn’t solitude that I was experiencing!
Solitude is a way positive term that describes and makes us experience a different degree of satisfaction for ourselves and our relationships. There is a difference between being in solitude  and being alone. Most of the time we use the label of solitude but actually  practice a different thing. Solitude in its pure form is the highest amount of energy we can cultivate but confusing it with negativity like being a loner is a great folly. Solitude is practiced when you are relaxed and satisfied and sit back to devote sometime for yourself providing it with some positive input.  What I was facing wasn’t solitude instead it was something close to loneliness.  I was disturbed by the fact that my friend couldn’t agree with my viewpoint and in addition to that I felt guilty over the fact that my dependence on her was so much that I couldn’t keep calm when she hovered away from my pattern of thinking. I started assuming and labeling her actions with things like taking me for granted and not UNDERSTANDING me. I was in dire need of her ACCEPTANCE and whenever a time comes when such a thing doesn’t happen I shift into a disturbed state and feel a sense of loneliness. What I realized was in no way did I find any solace in those two hours. A turmoil now with more number of problems and issues lingered on in my mind. I just realized that I had actually created a more resentful and angry thought process. Because I wasn’t ALONE in these two hours instead I was LEAST alone.
When we cage ourselves in such a situation and completely escape off from our friends and family we are actually putting ourselves in more trouble.
As the saying goes ” if you are lonely when you are alone, you are in a bad company”, pointing to the FACT that closing yourself from the world at a point when you are emotionally frustrated is like inviting a worse phase for yourself. In such a state of mind we tend to create scenarios which do not even exist in real life. An extremely negative state of mind forces us to see everything in a bad color and in a discolored state. We start becoming rigid and cold. We start viewing people and situations as weapons lined up against us. A sense of negativity for the people around us dominates our thinking pattern.
But then what should I have done at that time? If being alone at a such a point wasn’t a cool idea, even continuing with the blaming words and our arguments wasn’t also. So what really should I have done? Maybe listening to some positive advise from someone was a better option. Take for instance your best friend has a fight with her sibling and then texts you about that scene. She is really disturbed!  What would be your reaction? You would obviously cool her down and advise her to focus on the positive habits of her sibling and not be disturbed. You will find ways to cheer her up and help her in regaining her calm. The way your friend will now react will be way too different from the way she would have earlier behaved. Maybe if she hadn’t texted you she would have thought about a hundred scenarios where her sibling wasn’t good to her but now maybe she is ready to sort out things with her sibling just because her mind is now in a calm state and whatever she thinks now is rational thinking and not a frustration driven  thought pattern.
That is where the essence of the fact lies. We also at such a time need a relieving pill in the form of a person or some positive input. At such a point we should either discuss with a person who will lighten our mood or indulge ourselves in something positive like listening to a positive lecture , writing ten positive things about our life or something similar which shifts our attention towards positivity. We should not close ourselves because that is synonymous to poisoning ourselves. We need to surround ourselves with positive energy and people. We need to reinforce the fact that life and people love me! We need to remove ourselves from the label of DEPENDENCY and consequently from the feeling of LONELINESS. The more you push yourself in the alone category more remorseful we tend to become! Surrounding ourselves with chirpy people who laugh things out instead of being too critical about them is the secret to elevate your feeling especially at times when you are emotionally drained out. So don’t be disheartened when things don’t work in the way as I expect them to be instead look for more positive thrusts in life!
The crazy mingles deafen,
venomous words strangle,
The world staging its shuddering gamble,
Look down upon me,
blurting out a traumatic fumble!
The loneliness haunts my trifling silence,
Whispers diminishing reliance!
But then again fortune shines,
Clouding away resentful whines,
A friend enters easing the walk,
resounding hard makes a knock!
The laughs shout and discolor the black,
Cheers heaped in my sack!
The maze soon clears the hint,
Stabilizing every trivial tilt !!